Posted: March 23, 2011 in Uncategorized

I’m outta here!  I’m off to http://www.nashysarsenal.footballunited.com .  Hopefully the move will allow me to broadcast my craziness to a larger audience and to implement the changes I’ve wanted for ages a bit easier.  To all the original Nashy soldiers I salute you for picking up on this very minute blog.  You’ve made it all worth while and hopefully there’ll be more Nashy’s commenting and debating in the future.

Come join me!

I love Arsenal,

and I love you too.


Yup.  Jack Wilshere is our Cunt.  He’s our Gerrard.  He’s our Rooney.  He’s our Terry.  Obviously not as bad as those three just yet, but recent behaviour points to a boy who, were he not playing for Arsenal, I would call a cunt.  Instead, seeing as I see everything Jack does through Rose tinted £20 Arsenal glasses, I love him.

If John Terry had been accused of trying to take pictures up girls skirts I would be outraged.  What kind of man does that?  It’s perverse and grossly immature and not something that a role model to young boys should do.  But because it was our Jack accused, I’m kind of inclined to just dismiss it.  Like one of those parents that refuse to accept that their child is a poorly behaved buffoon.  I just want to ruffle his hair and go, ‘…oh you little rascal, you!’.

I love the way he’s constantly in the refs face after a tackle.  Anyone else, I would tell them to shut up.  But I love that, he shows a passion for the team that is so evidently lacking at times with Arsenal and it’s no wonder Cappello’s come out and said that he’s a future captain.


Jack Upon Hearing He'll Be Rooming With Terry



What we must hope, though that his behaviour doesn’t start to impact upon his performances on the pitch.  This season he’s a shoe-in for Young Player Of The Year and he’s established himself as one of the two England midfielders in the middle of the pitch.

What we, as Arsenal fans don’t want is for Jack to let private issues affect him in the same way that it did to Rooney before now, and even John Terry to some extent.  He’s got the world at his feet, and as long as he does the business on the pitch I really couldn’t care how much of a twat he is off it.  I’m from Hertfordshire, and I can safely say that around 90% of the boys act like him on a night out anyway.

Not much else in terms of Arsenal news.  Cesc has said that he’s started running again.  You would assume if that’s the case he’ll be fit to face Blackburn at the Emirates at the weekend.  He’s a big miss and if we can get him through these last 9 games then our title chances are improved dramatically.

And that’s all you can ask for, at the end of the day.  A chance.

I love Arsenal,

and I love you too.

Rightey-ho!  So this weekend was a pile of balls, wasn’t it.  Balls belonging to a hybrid of Sir Alex Ferguson and Carlo Ancelotti, which means that the little pubes on these balls constantly twitch at you when you look at them.  Quite why you’re looking at them I don’t know.  But a big ol’ pair of balls they are.

What is there to say about Arsenal?  I have a friend who supports Arsenal.  Every time I see him out it seems, recently, we have to go over the last major disappointment.  We’re constantly huffing, puffing, shrugging our shoulders.  Why?  Because how do you explain this team’s penchant for the spectacular failure?

West Brom’s second goal actually had me speechless.  That’s after I swore several times at the computer screen, but speechless nonetheless.  I wouldn’t make the decision to come out that far from my goal if I was playing in goal, and I’m not a professional footballer.  I’m not a professional anything at the moment, and even if all I had to do was keep for Arsenal at the weekend I wouldn’t make that decision.

Almunia is fucking shit.  Let’s get it out there.  He’s absolutely rubbish.  The worst thing is, I was one of those idiots that used to defend him off of the back of one ordinary season back in 07/08.  That was three years ago.  Between then and now we could release a DVD entitled Almunia Is Fucking Shit. Then we could do a sequel, and sequel of that and make so much money that we could buy out his contract and have him nowhere near the goal.

But then, what’s the alternative?  Jens Lehman.  This is a guy that has not played a competitive game for two years, and was supposed to come back to keep Eboue company on the bench.  Quite how, as a team chasing the League, we are now left with the option of Almunia or Jens in goal is beyond me.

I’m aware of the injuries to the two Poles, and both were freak injuries.  It just seems so unfair.  Why can’t Edwin get injured during a warm up?  Why can’t Cech bust his finger performing a routine save?  This season is going to be, possibly, the worst if we don’t manage to dig deep and somehow overturn this five point deficit.

No point in talking about games in hand.  We’ve dropped four points in the last two games which we simply shouldn’t have done.  This means that we can’t slip up in the up coming games.  If there was no room for error before, there definitely isn’t now.

But this is what we live for as football fans.  Yes, everything seems to be going against us and we probably should be more aware of a resurgent Chelsea as opposed to United ahead of us.  But we’re in the run-in and we still have something to be annoyed about.  Something to make us look forward to games at the weekend.

A couple of seasons ago we were fighting for fourth place.  Even in the 07/08 season it started falling apart before now, and that for me was the season we should have won the league.  We’re second place out of 20 in the Premier League, we have hardly any midweek games between now and the end of the season and have Fabregas, Song and Walcott coming back.  That is pretty much 3/5 of our starting midfield five.  Although Theo could find it hard to get back in the team with the resurgent Arshavin starting to come back to form.

Anyway, as much as this team infuriates me.  As much as it makes me question why I invest so much time, energy and emotion into it.  And as much as I tell myself I won’t get excited about what could still be an excellent season, I’m looking forward to this season’s climax.

It’s nice to be involved.

I love Arsenal,

and I love you too.

Happy St. Patricks day everyone!  I’ve got some great news for all of my readers too.

Well, I went on Dragon’s Den and they approved my idea!  What was it?  I’ll tell you.  It was to start selling the local

Get Ready For Zimbabwean Independance Day!

Zimbabwean drink, Chibuku, over here in England.  Once it gains in popularity, we can then enforce Zimbabwe Independence day on everyone in England and everyone can get caught up in it and drink Chibuku even more.  Why?  Because that’s what Zimbabweans do!  And everyone’s got like an eighth Zimbabwean in them anyway.  You know… you’re Uncle’s Uncle’s dog.  Yeah, his sister.  Is Zimbabwean.

And then we can deck every pub in red, yellow, green and black and we can all sing Zimbabwean songs and dance like Zimbabweans do and it will be all just very spiffing.  This will be a day of decadence, where everyone will get really chuffing drunk, and act like complete pricks, just because it’s Zimbabwe Independence Day.  And because everyone will be getting drunk off Chibuku I’ll make loads of money.

I got £250,000 for a 2% stake in that idea.  And Debz gets to fondle my balls every month.  Gotta pay the cost to be the boss!

As you can tell, there’s not much Arsenal news doing the rounds.  The manager will make have his interview with Arsenal TV today, so we should figure out the extent to which Johan is injured.  By all accounts, other than the player himself and his national team’s FA, he’s out until the end of the season.

That’s a big loss.  His stats speak for themselves.  Four goals conceded in the league since the turn of the year with him in the side.  No games lost in the Premier League since 2008.  Granted he was injured for a long time, but that run is up to around 30 games now.

I’m sure there’ll be more to come in the coming hours as new comes from the press conference.

Until then, this is the advert I’m going to use to get you all into drinking Chibuku.  What does it taste like, I hear you ask?  Well just read this very favourable review from the BBC:

Chibuku, ‘the beer of good cheer’, is most regularly enjoyed in a shabeen, a probably illegal, almost certainly dingy spartanly furnished drinking den playing loud repetitive piston-popping kwassa-kwassa music.

A meal in a box, chibuku doesn’t pretend to refresh; it is taken as a cheap and efficient intoxicant.

And here’s the great advert for it.  Its bhooo nechibuku translates to It’s good with Chibuku. What a slogan!  Expect it to be rolling out at a drinking den near you soon!

If you’re still reading up to this point, I love Arsenal

and I love you too.

I’m a big fan of things coming back.

Take That, for example.  I was far too young to appreciate the brilliance that was Take that at the time that they were popular.  I knew all of the older girls in my area fancied them, but I didn’t know just how swoony they all are when they performed.  For new readers who may be uncomfortable, I’m gay.  I’m not actually.

The song, ‘Bring It All Back’ by the fabulous singer/songwriting collective of S Club Seven is a great song.  About things coming back to you.  It also brought back a lot of feelings for a certain lady in the group.  I happened to have a look at a recent edition of the slightly classier than Nuts magazine, FHM, the other day and Jo Rachel just happened to be there.  Wet.  And that brought back a whole bunch of feelings I couldn’t understand as a kid.  See, I’m not gay.

Not that there’s anything wrong in being gay.  I have a gay friend.  And he’s white.  And I’m black.  Think I’ve covered all bases there…

And so we move onto another thing coming back that I never really used to understand, as Jens Lehman seems to be on the verge of returning to the club as emergency loan cover.

There’s a couple of reasons that I could never understand Jens.  One was my relative immaturity when it came to football at the time that we signed him.  I must have been around 15, and at that age we were winning thing on a regular basis.  I never really appreciated how good our keepers were.  Or more specifically, I never understood how much a good goalkeeper meant.

So at first we had David Seamen.  Legend.  Then we had Jens and we went a season unbeaten.  Legend.  I just assumed if you were a club like Arsenal, you just had a really good keeper as standard.  I used to scoff when United went through the period of Taibi and then following that, Barthez’s decline.

Now  I would crave a whole season where we had one of those keepers that, you know, just doesn’t regularly make mistakes.  Let me word that better, because everyone makes mistakes.  Just the other night, when I was out at a disco, I started talking to a Chelsea fan.  At first I thought he was alright.  Wrong.  WRONG.  Absolute prick.

What I should have said is that I would crave a season where I’m not worried about the keeper position, whether it be the performance of the first choice, or the quality of the back up.  Unfortunately, this season looked like it was going that way until injury ruled our two Poles out of contention for the season.

So I’m happy Jens is back to provide cover for Almunia.  The mind games have gone between the two, according to him.  And he seems to be happy to be at the club, to help out in a secondary role.

“This time I’m looking forward to my role on the bench, I will support Almunia. We can win the title”

You know Lehman won’t put up with any bullshit if he sees it on the training pitch, and he’s a guy that has been there and done it.  On all levels.  What we need now, like Arseblog has pointed out, is a hero.  Jens could just be the hero that we’ll never see in action.

I love Arsenal,

and I love you too.


Those who danced were thought to be mad, by those who could not hear the music

My friend posted this on their Facebook wall yesterday, and for some reason it struck me straight away.  So often as an Arsenal fan, you find yourself making arguments and being dismissed by those who claim to know better, or claim to be more knowledgable.

What gets me about last night is that we, as fans, had the TEMERITY to think that 11 vs 11 we had the ability to keep out Barcelona for another half an hour.  Let’s get this straight.  11 vs 11 if we are to take the first leg into account, up until the sending off we had completed 70% of the task in hand.  We were going through, a goal conceded was taking it to extra time.

People point to the first half.  Fine, let’s look at the first half.  People moan more than girlfriends do about toilet seats when it comes to our defence.  For 47 minutes last night we had restricted Barcelona to not too many shots on target whatsoever, apart from hitting the post from a ridiculous angle.  What undid us?

Even writing this, I genuinely feel fucking angry as shit.  What Cesc thought would come of a backheel on the edge of our area to a team-mate surrounded by two players I don’t know.  I literally cannot fathom what he was trying to do, but do it he did anyway.  The rest was some FIFA shit.

So we were heading out, until we scored a goal.  Own goal, yes.  They all count.  Abou Diaby managed to head it in from the penalty spot into his own goal at Old Trafford last season and that changed the complexity of the whole game from then on.  Buscuits did the same thing.  11 vs 11 would have been interesting.  They really had to come out and go for goal, we could have played the same way we did in the first half and the result would have been extra time if they’d scored once.


Quite how Eric managed to get away with this, I don’t know but get away with it he did. If you take a look at some of the other pictures of the mele, the referee was right in the middle.  Prick.  The ref was blowing up for anything and everything the whole match.  What can you do?

I’m so fucking upset writing this I literally don’t want to carry on.  I had a discussion with a Spurs fan last night who claimed we didn’t have the heart to chase the game.  I pointed out that we had 10 men for what was a joke sending off and that it’s hard to press at the Nou Camp.  Apparantly we just don’t have it in us to bring back deficits.  I literally cannot describe how good this team is.

People moan at us for not coming out in the first half.  We tried to but their pressing game is very strong, and our passing game was lax as fuck.

Let me put it this way.  Arsenal will pass it round every team in the Premiership, bar Manchester United, for fun.  People press us in the league and we negate that even on a bad day.  What Barcelona did to us is absolutely phenomenal.

When Inter Milan got the result they needed against Barcelona they had no shots on goal.  Jose Mourinho was heralded as a fucking genius.  Arsenal park the bus, and it’s a completely different story.

I’m tired of people who don’t support Arsenal coming to talk to me with lazy punditry.  Our defence held firm against the best team ever last night and were robbed of it being a fair game by some prick of a ref.  Our defence in the league has conceded the same amount as Manchester United, so it can’t be that awful.

I would love to see another English team, preferably Spurs, play against this Barcelona team just to see how good they are through their own rose-tinted spectacles.  We beat them at home, and were robbed away.  No matter what anyone says, we were robbed of the chance to pull off a great feat.

To end, all I’m going to say is this. Were it not for Nicklas Bendtner and his touch of a Rose West, then this could have all been completely different.  They’re great, but they’re not invincible.  At no point were we further than one goal from going through.  I’ll take that.

Week of death continues on Saturday against United.

I love Arsenal,

and I love you too.


Well, well and well.  How are we feeling today?  How am I feeling?  There are many different metaphors being banded around today.

There’s the kid before Christmas one.  I don’t feel like the kid before Christmas.  I never had a chimney in my house, so that kind of ruined the whole Christmas thing.  I asked my folks where Santa would come in, and my Dad said to me:

Santa would normally come down the chimney, but because we don’t have one he just gives me the money to get you a present for him.  But you’ve been a little shit this year, so I spent it on the beers.  Be better next year, this won’t happen.

So, I know what a kid is supposed to feel like before Christmas.  Yet I don’t really ever get that feeling.  Unless it’s hating the fact you never get presents, and then have to deal with all the other little shits in your school parading all the lovely things they got.  That’s not it though.

There’s the shitting it metaphor.  Whilst I am very nervous, I don’t really like to say shitting it.  I’m lactose intolerant, you see.  If I have certain dairy products, my tummy likes to play a game of ‘Get to the toilet before I flush you out in public.’ I always win, don’t worry.  So out of respect to myself, and to my fellow lactose intolerance sufferers, I’m going to refrain from the shitting myself one.

How do I feel then?

It’s that time of the year, isn’t it?  That time of the year where all of our ambitions can be realised or shattered in the space of a few days.  If it wasn’t Barcelona, I’d be excited.  This is what being a supporter is all about.  Champions League football.  Your team the centre of attention for the day.  But it’s Barcelona.

Absolute wreck.

As supporters we put so much into loving our team, and with Arsenal we’re turning into a club where we get nothing back.  Don’t get me wrong, I love the amazing football.  I love the fact we don’t have a huge debt cloud hanging over our heads.  I love what Arsene has done to the club.

But it’s a labour of love, supporting Arsenal.  People who support teams lower than us say they would love to be in our shoes.  Yet that’s not enough for us.  We’ve tasted League glory, we’ve tasted cup glory.  We put so much energy into supporting this team and defending it through every cock-up in the last six years, and all we want is a little bit back.

Beating Barcelona would probably be one of the biggest achievements of Wenger’s reign.  And we can do it.  We’re not as bad as people make us out to be.  We’re the most technically gifted team in our league, and if anyone has the legs and then skill on top of that to do battle with Barcelona it’s us.

So back to how I feel.  I don’t know.  How do I want to feel?  I want the game to finish and me be proud of the way the team has performed.  I want us to show up and put in a performance like we did against Chelsea.  A performance like we did in the first leg.  We’re capable of doing it.

I don’t want to be sitting in a pub at twenty to ten feeling the same way I did after we went to Old Trafford earlier in the season.  I don’t want people who don’t support Arsenal coming up to me, telling me if only Wenger had signed x amount of players and we hoofed it long, and broke a couple of legs we would have won.

I want us to win.  I want us to go to Barcelona and outscore the greatest team in the history of football as we know it.  I want us to do it the Arsenal way.  A long shot, I know.  But more impossible things have happened in football.

Sunday the 27th of February 2011 is a prime example.

Wherever you are watching the game, Gooners and other pricks, enjoy it.  It’s going to be a classic.

I love Arsenal,

and I love you too.

So with news filtering out of the Arsenal camp today that Alex Song will miss the match against Barcelona tomorrow… wait.  The fucking match is tomorrow?!  Jesus H. Christ.  I’m not very good with big games, simply because of our record in big games for the last six years.  Yes, you can point to the victory over Barcelona on that magical night in the Emirates.  But that’s not enough to instill anything other than fear and soiled pants in me.

Back to business, and we go to Barcelona tomorrow without both Robin Van Persie and Theo Walcott.  Although those are two huge injuries to take into what is a pivotal match in not only our season but, you feel, the legacy of this team, there is one injury that has created more discussion and debate.

The injury Gods seem to giveth with the same hand they take awayeth, and with the news that Cesc returns also comes the news that Alexndre Dimitri Song Billong will be missing the game with a knee injury. As we are taking a lead to Camp Nou, the defensive side of our game is going to be seriously compromised with the only specialised defensive midfielder in the squad missing through injury.

So with a third of the central midfield positions being filled by El Capitano and the ever increasingly influential Jack Wilshere, who is going to fill the final central midfield berth.  More specifically, who completes the base of the central midfield partnership alongside Jack.  Saturday’s goalless draw against Sunderland showed the two options that are most likely to fill the position.

Denilson and Diaby divide opinion amongst Arsenal fans more than any other players.  In my mind, it depends what type of game plan we intend on taking into the game tomorrow.

Here is a chalkboard of the tackles attempted and won by the two players against Sunderland on Saturday.  There are a couple of noticeable features between the two.  One is that Denilson attempted and won more tackles than Diaby in the match, actually attempting just under double the amount that Diaby did.  It’s also noticeable how much covering of the left hand side of the defence that Denilson put in, showing how much that side can be targeted if Andrei Arshavin doesn’t do his tracking work all match.  Sunderland’s best attacks came down that side.

However, it is also noticeable how Diaby tried to press higher up the pitch.  Whether that was under instructions from the boss, or just natural instincts I don’t know. What is clear is that a midfield axis of the two of them offers not much in defence, judging by the 50% success rate in tackling, nor in attack judging by the lacklustre display.


More Of The Same On Xavi, Please.



Whilst Denilson is probably the more defensively inclined player, I would definitely not start him in Barcelona.  We are not going there to maintain the scores as they are now.  In fact, we are going there to try to do the seemingly impossible.  We are going to Barcelona to attempt to outscore, probably, the finest club football team in history.

With that in mind Diaby has to start alongside Jack Wilshere.  In Diaby we have a player that can switch the play from defence to attack in the blink of an eye, and that’s what we are going to need when being under pressure deep in our own half for the majority of the match.

Whilst Denilson is safer in possession, and more defensively minded, he just does not offer anything going forward.  In all honesty, even his tackling is very suspect and I just don’t have faith in him to be able to keep his head and put in a performance in Camp Nou.  Diaby is the more dynamic player in the centre of the pitch, and adds a bit of strength in the middle of the park.

Tomorrow it is Gooners.  No matter who starts we’re going to be in for one hell of a ride, no matter what happens.

I love Arsenal,

and I love you too.


It was all just too good to be true, wasn’t it?  After years of bemoaning the fact that we’ve never had a full team to select on during the busiest part of the season, we finally had it.  An it was so magical, wasn’t it?  Tearing teams to shreds on a regular basis, culminating in that magical night at the Emirates against Barcelona.

Since then players have dropped like my balls after my 21st birthday.  I was late to arrive at the puberty party, you see.  It’s ridiculous.  There are fourteen year olds out there with more facial hair than I have.

Arsene's Selection Headaches Continue


As much as we may look towards the more glamorous tie against Barcelona on Tuesday, it cannot be escaped that three points takes us just one point behind Manchester United before they face a much better Liverpool side than the one that we saw under ol’ Woy.

We face a Sunderland side that never make it easy for us whenever we play them, and I recall last season being let off by some very suspect Darren Bent finishing either side of our goal.  Another point.  The blog yesterday caused some debate over whether or not I was right to choose Bendtner as the forward striker.

My argument was that he scored some important goals last season in the run-in. Take a look at the goalscorer in this fixture last season.  I just feel Nicklas is in better form, and that’s what we have to go on now.  He seems to thrive when he’s the focus of attention.  How do I know?  We both have egos that are a lot bigger than our actual ability or achievements.

On the flip-side, I’d much rather have our full team to select from.  Any team missing the quality of Song, Fabregas, Walcott and Van Persie is going to struggle to create goals and that’s exactly what will happen tomorrow.  I hope that we have enough, because this time of the season is simply about getting the points and getting out.

Past games without key players, especially Cesc has seen the pace of our play drastically slow down, and this just can’t happen on a regular basis.  Teams are so well-drilled to defend against us we have to have that spark to our play that’s been evident since the turn of the year.

Should Liverpool manage to grow a pair and beat United on Sunday then the title is, mathematically, ours to lose.  However, I don’t want to be hypocritical.  Saturday is the priority and that’s all that matters.  For now.

That’s it for today.


Apparantly, according to Le Boss, Kolo failed the drugs test because he was taking his wife’s diet pill.  I remarked when they played their FA Cup match the other day that he had lost weight.  Now we know why!  Kolo, there is no shame in sharing stuff with your girlfriend.

I used to use my ex’s shampoo all the time.    I used to lather that creamy, smelling like ‘The Garden of Eden’ shit all over my beautiful locks.

I also wore her clothes.  In fact, I still have some of them now even though we’ve split up*.  It’s no shame bro!

I love Arsenal,

and I love you too.

* No panties or bras.  Only on Saturdays whilst I’m watching Arsenal.

Thank you for reading this blog, much appreciated my fellow Gooners and non Gooners.  If you would like to get this blog straight to your email feel free to subscribe to it and that way you won’t be waiting on whether or not I’m coming down busy.  If you’re on twitter, follow me on @ThisIsNash.  There’s going to be a few changes in the next couple weeks, which I’m ever so excited about.  Thank you again for reading, and enjoy your day.






What did the five fingers say to the face?  SLAP!  Obviously it’s much better in the video, and as I carry on writing I’m struggling to find a way to really link five fingers to the fact that we managed to put away that many against Leyton Orient last night.

May be this.

It’s very unusual for both Gael Clichy and your thumb to ever hit the back of the net.

But Gael did just that yesterday, scoring only his second goal for the club in over 250 appearances.  We’re now through to the quarter-final against those cunts from Manchester.  The ones in red.  I may make a remake of the Chris De Burgh classic.

Cuuuuunts in red..

Actually.  Probably not the best lyrics I’ve ever penned.

With Nicklas Bendtner scoring a hat-trick and Marouane Chamakh also getting on the score sheet for the first time since November, our striking options have put forward their claims to be played in the lone striker position that was so well occupied by Robin before injury struck in the Final on Sunday.

Who would you play?  Me, personally, would go with Nicklas Bendtner.  Every club has that one player that opposition fans hate and he is probably our prime candidate.  I’ve always backed Bendtner.  If you need proof, look here.

Yes, he is not a clinical striker in the slightest.  He needs more chances to finish his dinner than Ashley Cole does to prove he’s a cunt.  And bless them both, they won’t stop trying until they complete their objective.  However, at 23 years of age he is far from the complete article and I ask any of you to find me five strikers in Europe who have his goal scoring record in the League, Cup competitions and the Champions League for the last three years.  Answers in the comments section please.

What I’m trying to say is that whether or not you detest the fact that he’s even more of an arrogant, delusional prick than I am, he will get you goals.  Last season he scored several important goals in our ultimately futile quest to win the League and Champions League.  The goal against Wolves.  At Hull, and Stoke.  He scored in the Nou Camp last season.  At one point he was on nine goals in twelve games.  This season we’re a better team and he should get his five chances a game to score.

These are exiting times as Arsenal fans.  As depressed and pessimistic as I was earlier in the week, surely it’s a lot better to be in a position where we’ve got big games towards the end of the season than being also rans again.

How much more heartbreak I can take this season after Sunday is debatable, though.  Time will tell.

I love Arsenal,

and I love you too.