Happy St. Patricks day everyone! I’ve got some great news for all of my readers too.
Well, I went on Dragon’s Den and they approved my idea! What was it? I’ll tell you. It was to start selling the local
Get Ready For Zimbabwean Independance Day!
Zimbabwean drink, Chibuku, over here in England. Once it gains in popularity, we can then enforce Zimbabwe Independence day on everyone in England and everyone can get caught up in it and drink Chibuku even more. Why? Because that’s what Zimbabweans do! And everyone’s got like an eighth Zimbabwean in them anyway. You know… you’re Uncle’s Uncle’s dog. Yeah, his sister. Is Zimbabwean.
And then we can deck every pub in red, yellow, green and black and we can all sing Zimbabwean songs and dance like Zimbabweans do and it will be all just very spiffing. This will be a day of decadence, where everyone will get really chuffing drunk, and act like complete pricks, just because it’s Zimbabwe Independence Day. And because everyone will be getting drunk off Chibuku I’ll make loads of money.
I got £250,000 for a 2% stake in that idea. And Debz gets to fondle my balls every month. Gotta pay the cost to be the boss!
As you can tell, there’s not much Arsenal news doing the rounds. The manager will make have his interview with Arsenal TV today, so we should figure out the extent to which Johan is injured. By all accounts, other than the player himself and his national team’s FA, he’s out until the end of the season.
That’s a big loss. His stats speak for themselves. Four goals conceded in the league since the turn of the year with him in the side. No games lost in the Premier League since 2008. Granted he was injured for a long time, but that run is up to around 30 games now.
I’m sure there’ll be more to come in the coming hours as new comes from the press conference.
Until then, this is the advert I’m going to use to get you all into drinking Chibuku. What does it taste like, I hear you ask? Well just read this very favourable review from the BBC:
Chibuku, ‘the beer of good cheer’, is most regularly enjoyed in a shabeen, a probably illegal, almost certainly dingy spartanly furnished drinking den playing loud repetitive piston-popping kwassa-kwassa music.
A meal in a box, chibuku doesn’t pretend to refresh; it is taken as a cheap and efficient intoxicant.
And here’s the great advert for it. Its bhooo nechibuku translates to It’s good with Chibuku. What a slogan! Expect it to be rolling out at a drinking den near you soon!
If you’re still reading up to this point, I love Arsenal
and I love you too.
nashisarsenal
